Mixed Messages

Do you ever feel like the world is sending mixed messages? Like, “Go out!” but also “Stay in and binge-watch Netflix”?

Or:

Ummmmmmmmm…is beer tasting the best pairing for heavy machinery driving? The only thing worse would be “Let’s Test Pharmaceuticals! | Heavy Machinery Driving.” Or maybe “Beer Tasting | Ferrari or Lamborghini Autocross Experience.” I realize the two are separate LivingSocial deals, but I kind of feel like the editor dropped the ball on that subject line.

My email isn’t the only thing sending mixed messages. I got these two messages in my Dove chocolates yesterday:

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And these two today:

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Really? Really Dove? C’mon!

Speaking of “C’mon,” this online profile has to be a joke right?

Looking for: “Smoking body but okay with a fat guy and okay with acne”
Hot spots: Walmart
Favorites: Action movies
Activities: Hunting and fishing [obvi], video games

But don’t worry, he’s also not independently wealthy and it appears that he doesn’t have a job. Be who you are, I guess.

I used the word “deskercise” at work yesterday. Because that’s a thing.*

I’ve started working on a project that is a little really weird. There are a bunch of homes that have two (sometimes one or three or four) Adirondack chairs in front of them. Until a week or two ago, I NEVER saw anyone sit in them, even when I’d be out walking on a gorgeous summer/early fall day. I did finally see someone sitting in one talking on her phone, and a pair of people a few blocks later sitting and chatting, but in the two years since I first started noticing these chairs, that’s it.

They’re so inviting looking; they’re always arranged in a way that makes me want to sit in them, but because I a) don’t know my neighbors and b) don’t want the police called about me, I resist the urge to have a seat. I’m fascinated by them, though. Who/what started this trend? Why do people follow trends like this? And why put something like that in your yard if you’re not going to sit in it? And if you are, why put it in the front, where the view is your street/the neighbors across from you?

SO I photographed them. I felt like a creeper and I’m pretty sure someone did call the police on me because I heard some kids saying “There’s a woman taking pictures of our house,” as I walked by. And I surprised someone coming out of her house, which then forced me to give a very awkward “I’m not taking a picture of you, I just love** your chairs…[which are like everybody else’s chairs…]” explanation. I didn’t know if it would help or hurt to say I’m a writer and give them one of my business cards.

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You cannot tell, but this one and the one before are neighbors. They are placed at angles away from one another.

You can’t tell, but this one and the next one are neighbors. They are placed at angles away from one another.

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This was the one where I surprised someone coming out of the house. I just wanted a "solo" chair.

This was the one where I surprised someone coming out of the house. I just wanted a “solo” chair.

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These are not Adirondack chairs, but I like them anyway. And, football.

These aren’t Adirondack chairs, but I like them anyway. And, football.

These were tucked away at the side of the house behind a bush and in some plants. Not exactly easy access.

These were tucked away at the side of the house behind a bush and in some plants. Not exactly easy access.

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Four! All facing each other. I have never seen them being used.

Four! All facing each other. I have never seen them being used.

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This was the one where the kids said "some woman is taking pictures of our house." I just had to get the kiddie Adirondack chair, though.

This was the one where the kids said “Some woman is taking pictures of our house.” I just had to get the kiddie Adirondack chair, though.

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I’m calling them Adirondack Pairs and I’m hoping you can help me. Send me photos of Adirondack*** chairs in pairs (or single/more than 2) when you find them. You can message me on FB or email me at sarahinsmalldoses@gmail.com. I’ll call that Adirondack Shares. 🙂

 

 

 

 

*Not only is that a thing, it’s hosted by Slim Goodbody! Oh man. Flashbacks to my childhood. I must go watch these immediately to see how we could adapt them for my office.

**”am fascinated by” is more accurate but didn’t come out of my mouth fast enough

***Or other chairs arranged like that, but especially Adirondack.

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About Sarah in Small Doses

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Trackbacks / Pingbacks

  1. The Future is Now | Sarah in Small Doses - October 23, 2015
  2. NaBloPoWriMo Crow-vember: Day 8 | Sarah in Small Doses - November 8, 2015

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