100,000 Times Two
My car hit 100,000 miles a week ago Thursday; two and a half weeks ago I hit 100,000 words on the book. Even though I’ve been with the latter much longer, the former felt pretty momentous, too. Thankfully, neither was as anticlimactic as turning 100,000 hours old, which I did on July 24, 1993 at roughly 3:00 PM. What a snoozefest.
I feel like The Discovery Channel is missing out on a promotion they could do this month: Croc-toberfest. It’d be the new Shark Week. But with beer pairings. So, lots of Crocodile Lager, Omaha Brewing Company selections, Red Crocodile Beer, and various draughts named “Crocodile Tears.” And they could air the Crocodile Dundee movies at intervals for a break from the Croc Week programs.
Meanwhile, I’ve dubbed it “Rock-toberfest” at Cinéma Atroce. You’ll have to check out bitterempire.com around 4 PM tomorrow to find out why.
This week my friend Gabriel grilled corn and we made, well, grills out of rows of the kernels. What are grills (or fronts, if you will)? They are rows of jewelry meant to be worn over the teeth. According to Wikipedia, “Korn frontman [this joke writes itself!] Jonathan Davis wore a pair in the music video for the song ‘Coming Undone’.” Mine had a gap. But I still think they’re veneer-able. No frontin’.
The last of my Dude Ranch Tales posted a couple of weeks ago. You can check it out here.
Speaking of online, I’ve started online dating again. It is
the worst interesting. I really feel like I might die alone find someone worthwhile. Here are actual profile postings or correspondences:
“I’m me. You should know who you are too.” (This was his entire “About me” section. Helpful.)
“Spending time with family is a priority for me and I love kids. Friends are great, but quality time at home is just as much fun.” (That was his entire profile, along with three of the same photo, one in color and two in black and white. He had no answer for religion, education, occupation, or politics and no preferences for the person he’s seeking.)
“………………………………..Someone to have great Chemistry with. No dramma…………………………….patients and loves kids……………….” (Another “About me” section.)
“Hey are you today” (That was an email. The entire email.)
The body of the email: “hi”; the subject of the email: “hi”
I was “matched” with someone whose username included “funwithboth”This was his info: Like to have a man and women or group of people to play and use me or be the one being used like to experience new things willing to try almost anything once. (I’m trying to figure out why the database thought we would be compatible. Maybe because we’re both nonsmokers? Oooh, he likes dogs. That’s probably it. At least he’s up front about what he’s into, right?)
In case you’re wondering, yes, proper grammar and spelling are important to me, as is more information than just “I like sports and hunting and fishing.” Weird, I know.
Speaking of weird, a bald eagle caused a traffic jam on the highway near my hometown on Wednesday. It’s even weirder because on Tuesday morning I was driving on the highway in my “new” town and a bald eagle swooped down as if to grab something on the road between my lane and the lane next to me. It was the closest I have been to a bald eagle in my life. They are huge. I exchanged a bewildered look with the guy in the car in the lane next to me at the time, but it was only when I read about the other bald eagle highway incident that I realized how much of a close call that was. Do you think it was the same eagle?