May the Fourth & Cinco de Mayo
Those of you who’ve followed the blog for a while know that I love word play, puns, and portmanteau. Monday was Star Wars Day (May the Fourth, get it?), so I thought I’d post some puns, jokes, and funny observations from recently.
I saw this on the bus on Monday. It was awesome.
I also saw the Papa John’s delivery guy go through the drive-thru at Dairy Queen recently. I really wish I had gotten a picture of that.
Last week a coworker (who isn’t that much older than I am) said he’d been to more countries by the time he had graduated high school than he’d been to states in the U.S. I told him it was easier when the continents were all close together.*
On Cinco de Mayo, we live-blogged a movie called WolfCop, aka the Best ’80s Movie Ever Made in 2014 (according to io9). Here’s a video my friend Ben made while we were waiting for the technical difficulties to be fixed. And check out the liveblog link here (you can watch the movie anytime). We were even live-tweeting with the writer/director! Very cool.
I had a piece published this week on Bitter Empire under their Bitter Endings heading about my trip to Costa Rica a few years ago. Check it out! Also, I have something coming out in this fall’s edition of Water~Stone Review and I couldn’t be happier!
I was texting back and forth with someone recently different bro puns. Here are some of my favorite:
Oh the Places You’ll Bro
Broseidon, god of the Brocean
Here I Bro Again on My Own
I met someone who is writing a book about a phenomenon in parts of Africa (and a few other places) where a man believes someone has just stolen his penis, so he accuses that person, at which point the accused is often arrested. When I asked for further information (such as how the man would know that his penis was stolen), the writer explained that the man believed the person had taken his ability to, um, perform. “In other words, his essence,” the writer said. “Or tumescence,” I replied. He did not laugh.*** It’s an intriguing premise for a book, though, so look for The Penis Thieves to come out sometime in 2016.
Mason-Dixie Line: the point at a party after which you switch from your regular flat/glassware (mason jars) to Dixie cups and paper plates. The line can be drawn at the size of the party, how messy the guests are, whether your dishwasher works, or the lateness of the hour.
Happy May you guys! In case there wasn’t enough cheese for you in this post, here’s a gratuitous shot of the cheese plate I had with my friend Gabriel on Wednesday. Yes, that is all cheese. Delicious.
**A little nod to Cinco de Mayo (and, of course, football). I can’t take credit for all of these, but Brobot, Oh the Places You’ll Bro, and Here I Bro Again on My Own are all mine.
***I still think that was really funny.