NaBloPoWriMo Servo: Day 23
I told Tom Servo he could watch Netflix as a reward for (finally) helping out with the dishes and some other chores. He told me after he explored his feminine side, he felt the need to examine his masculinity, and he’d heard there was a show called Magnum, P.I. that might help him get in touch with his testosterone.* So we sat down and watched a couple of episodes.
Tom Servo likes that the lead actor is another Tom S. He tried to copy the mustache; I didn’t have the heart to tell him it’s not a good look for him. But I did tell him a funny story about a mustache that looked kind of like his.
In my former life as an investigator, I used to take complaints against the police and in doing so often needed the civilian to give me a description of the officer involved in order to help identify him. There were a lot of interesting details people gave in their descriptions, but one account was interesting for its lack of detail. The civilian described the officer as a white male, medium build, with brown hair** and when I asked about facial hair, he either couldn’t remember or said “none.”
Luckily***, the guy was arrested as a result of the incident, so the officer’s name and unit was on his arrest paperwork. From the paperwork and other testimony, I determined that the officer in question was the lieutenant. When I got the lieutenant’s photo he had a distinctive feature that my complainant left off: a giant push-broom mustache. We’re talking Ned Flanders territory. He looked like a mustache with a man behind it. Seriously, it looked like a hamster took a nap on his upper lip. I called him Lieutenant McMustache. I was shocked that the guy’s complaint didn’t read, “I was just walking down the street when, out of nowhere, a mustache punched me in the face.”
When I interviewed the lieutenant, his mustache was less pronounced and I’m guessing he’d had it trimmed. But still.
Special thanks to Anthony R. for suggesting the idea for this post. Got something you want to see Tom Servo do? Send it to me (post in the comments or email me at firstname.lastname@example.org) and I’ll see what I can do! – Sarah
*I wanted to tell him he only has roboterone and android-gen but I didn’t want to open that can of hormones.
**Super helpful, right? I mean, there’s only 20,000 white male officers on the NYPD and probably 75% of them have brown hair.
***Lucky for me, not so lucky for him.