New Year, New Job, New Theme
…and new update on What I’m Reading. Okay, so it’s over two weeks into 2014, but I waited to unveil my new theme for the year until now for a few reasons. Tomorrow is my last day at the job I’ve had for almost four years, and I have bittersweet feelings about it. I’m excited about the new opportunity (which is an amazing opportunity) but I’ve really enjoyed this job and my coworkers, whom I will miss, even if I’m ready for the next challenge.
And I am really going to miss them. I’ll admit it: I get attached. I’m a sentimental sap. I have hoarding tendencies and not just for tangible things; I hold onto people. If we know each other in real life, even if we haven’t seen one another in years, rest assured I remember you. I mean, I write creative nonfiction for goodness sake–what greater display of past-hoarding is there than memoir?
I also have mixed feelings because I thought I might be moving away. I’ve felt that way since shortly after I moved to Minnesota but every year something has made me stay. First it was school, then a relationship, now this new job. As thrilled as I am by the idea of moving to Chicago or the West Coast or back to New York, if I’m being completely honest, I may have been waiting for something–someone--to give me a reason to stay. Living in the future, in a different city than where you are, is exhausting. And it’s not healthy.
Maybe it shouldn’t have been one thing or one person or one reason to make me stay. Maybe that’s too much to expect. Or maybe I was just looking at the wrong person; as my wise younger sister said, “You’ve put a lot of energy into building a life here,” which is true. I have. And it’s a pretty good life with a lot of reasons that make staying worthwhile. I’m not saying I won’t remain open to moving somewhere else (new or previous) in the future. And I’m not saying I won’t still look back at the past, because, well, that’s what I do. But my goal–my theme–for the year is “Live Here Now.” I want to stop pining so much for the past or imagining too much about the future and enjoy more of this wonderful present* I’ve created.
“Live Here Now” means doing the things I’ve always wanted to do and not waiting until conditions are perfect. It means taking things as they come and jumping in with both feet. It means exactly what it says. So tomorrow I’ll be enjoying (or probably crying at) my last day at one job, and next week I’ll be living life at a new job, possibly looking for a new apartment, probably meeting new people, definitely trying new things. 2014: Live Here Now.
*This reminds me of the quote (sources vary): “Yesterday’s history, tomorrow’s a mystery, today is a gift; that’s why it’s called the present.”