Search and Research

I found out that Google is changing the way search results show up on WordPress. I used to be able to see the various search terms people typed in that led them to this blog. Sadly,* Google is increasing their security so each search will be encrypted, which means I won’t know if you got here because you searched “Sarah in Small Doses” or “Dozes people so funny.” It doesn’t really matter how you found me, though; I’m just glad you’re here. BUT some of the search terms are funny, so I thought I’d share them (don’t worry, it doesn’t tell me who or where** the search terms came from). I’m off to research facts about Guam!***   -Sarah

Oh! And here’s a random photo from three years ago today. Just in case we feel like griping about the weather…

That snow mound to the right of the PT Cruiser is my car.

That snow mound to the right of the PT Cruiser is my car.

Here are some search terms that have led people to this blog.

There are the Sara(h) references, which make sense:

sarah small needed models

i love you sarah hope you have a good day i’ll talk to you after my morning nap muah I think this person thought she was writing a text…in the Google search bar…but despite this “whoops” moment, it is a sweet message.

facebook sare hips

how to help sare right hip A few people have started to call me Sare. I’m not sure why they’re so worried about my hips, though.

electric blue sarah

sarah neville observation

what is sarahs bum used for Well, that’s kind of a personal question…

sara wearing short pants

Which segues nicely into the pantsing/tighty whities searches:

“tighty whities” “robbery” mugger AKA…

the wanted tighty As I’ve said before, I don’t condone violence or crime, but if you do mug people by pulling down their already-sagging pants, please refer to yourself as The Wanted Tighty robber. Please.

hipsters tighty whities

women wearing tighty whities

my so-called tighty whities so what ?? 

man walks around pantsing people Which is the preface to the jokes that start, “A man walks into a bar…”

pajama pantsing I know an inadvertent victim of this…

what is pantsing a shirt called Exactly.

how do victims feel at pantsing at friends? And they say there’s no empathy in the world.

There are versions of “doses”:

coffee small doeses

love sold in doses Clearly this person doesn’t know the Sheryl Crow song.

…references to mayonnaise:

gelatinous condiments

can you use mayonnaise in chocolate chip cookies to make more moist I’m sure you can, but why would you want to?

peanuts and mayonnaise brighter than the sun Either this person is also mis-hearing the lyrics to the Colbie Caillat song, or they’re looking for me. 

…zombies:

but now i worry i’m a zombie maybe Well, now I’m worried about it. Thanks. Thanks a lot.

will the world end with a zombocalypse If it does, you know who you want on your team

…moms and dads (and sisters):

how to develop my mom’s sense of humor 

funny dad observations

haha my sister chase me with knives hahaha The second “hahaha” lets you know it’s all in fun.

exaggerated humorous story of my sister I don’t know how this led them here. I’ve never exaggerated anything…

…proof that clever titles are memorable, tagging posts works, and people will Google anything:

davanni’s billboard dog

enjoyed usurped movies

what to use pulling a pontoon out of water and on shore

bo bice little miss tuffet

ped egg coconut oil

lime green shirt with electric blue chinos  Stylin’…

kinko’s de mayo

cricket cards bachelorette

fun assissgnment to do with malapropism I want to know what this is…

cartoon somedays you’re the windshield somedays you’re the bug

picture of harry and lloyd in suits

I thought it was wednesday Not going to let me forget that, are you?

homonames for best I kind of want to steal homonames as a thing. 

funny commet for who knows

chanel variation quad kristen stewart

essay tone cocoa butter photo

quabity

“underwater archaeologist”

terra cotta soldiers and cough This sounds like weird doctor directives…

tundra shuttle commercial

drtuber

fiction is only limited to your imagination and to what you know

90s slipper boots

moon boots ugg

samuel l jackson voice soothing

blogscore

who is the speaker in the novel the devil in the white city

And my personal favorite random searches that led people here:

“I found at least 3 bad entries for him at website” Sad.

driftwood the homeless man This makes me laugh every time. I have no idea why, but I want to write a story starring Driftwood, the homeless man.

monguam I want it.

indiana jones in a wetsuit Raiders of Noah’s Lost Ark? The Temple of Scoob? 

raisins commercial how you like me now

mexican tree porcupine tesis

“i’ll come find you”

“is this thing on” “funny thing happened”

nursery rhyme referring to hoagies Rub-a-dub-dub, three men eating subs?  (make mine a Club?)

empty high school classroom  That sounds like the beginning of a horror film. Cut to: interior of the principal’s office.

AND

shark attack on oscar the grouch YES! Winner.

And some odds and ends:

I had to type “hypothetical ethical”**** the other day, and it sounded like lisping in my head.

I misheard someone telling someone else that he (the speaker) “was getting cruited all the time by nar.” If you can tell me what this means, I would appreciate it.

Sometimes I recite the alphabet in my head just to assure myself that I’m not having a stroke.

*Or happily, if you’re searching for weird stuff. Like some of the above people.

**Which country. I can’t tell where in the country searches come from, but I can tell if someone in “Germany” or “Guam” has found the blog. C’mon Guam. Just gimme one search…please?

***I mean, now that Google has started encrypting searches, I can Google with wild abandon.

****Hypothethical?

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About Sarah in Small Doses

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2 responses to “Search and Research”

  1. seeleetress says :

    Was that really three years ago today?? Holy cannoli. So when was the subsequent Cruiser car fire? January?

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