I’m Saaaaailing Away/Nauty Knotty
You heard it here first: with all of these zombie movies and robot movies, I imagine they’re going to come out with some Alien Vs. Predator-type movie franchise called “Robot Vs. Zombie.” * It seems like a weird mash-up until you get to the tagline: “They both want the same thing: Your brain.” Oooh, I just shivered. Maybe we could get Rob Zombie to direct, but only because I want to call him Rob[ot] Zombie.
I also feel like there should be a video game where you just have weird battles between fictional characters. Who would win in a fight: Sasquatch or the Abominable Snowman? Freddy Kruger or Edward Scissorhands? Jason or Casey Jones?** A gladiator or a viking? A nerd or a geek? A pirate or a postal worker?***
Speaking of pirates, I may have said this before, but I find it mind-boggling that it’s 2013 and we still have to worry about pirates. Good thing the same isn’t true for Vikings…ooh, burn Minnesota.***** No, but seriously, doesn’t it seem like they should be extinct?******
I felt like a pirate this past weekend, in that I
took over [was invited onto] a ship [small sailboat] and raced [actually, this one is true] on the high seas [Lake Minnetonka]. It was awesome. I learned lots of nautical terms like “boom” and “jib” and “foresail.” I also learned that everything has two names, for instance, the jib is also called the foresail. I learned that when the skipper (sometimes the same as the captain) shouts out “coming about” that means he’s about to turn and the two people in charge of the mainsail need to switch the sail’s position as quickly as possible. I also learned that the ropes associated with the sails are also called lines or sheets (which, you would think, would be a more appropriate second-name for the sails, but you would be incorrect).
I learned how to tie knots and what a spinnaker is (that big, usually brightly-colored sail that is in the front of a sailing boat that is used in a downwind start). In writing this, I also learned that in addition to being slang for gossip, a “scuttlebutt” is a barrel used for drinking water, or in modern times, a nautical drinking fountain/water cooler.******* SO you find out the scuttlebutt around the scuttlebutt.
Special thanks to my friend EA from improv for helping me fulfill a lifelong dream. That’s one thing I can cross off my “40 by 40” list. What are you crossing off your lifelong dream list this year?
*Android Vs. Undead? Undead vs. Automaton? Cyborg vs. Corpse? We’ll work it out. I looked up synonyms for “robot” and one led me to machine, for which they listed several synonyms, including “robot” AND “zombie.”
**TMNT (Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles) hockey-playing vigilante. Duh.****
***I know you think this is a bizarre match-up, but they’re technically both occupations. And, there is such a thing as “going postal,” not so for pirating.
****Just kidding, I had to look up his name.
*****Just kidding, I’m more of a Vikings fan. But if you can’t laugh at yourself…oooh, the Twins vs. the twins from The Shining?
******The Last of the Mohicans vs. the Last of the Vikings. Okay, I’ll stop. But wouldn’t that be an interesting story? The last of the Vikings? Think about it.
*******Nauter cooler? C’mon, you saw that coming.