Record Asterisks Hit This Blog
Remember the time it snowed the first three days of May? Oh, wait, that was this year.
I got it, guys: Mother Nature is having a May/December romance…with herself.
If you see me today and I seem downtrodden, I am. I made it all winter without so much as a sniffle* and this morning I woke up achy and sore-throaty and gross. I’m feeling much better physically, but my spirit is still a little under the weather. (Sorry, I had to.) But seriously, I am more actively considering moving somewhere south because my hands and feet are so cold it isn’t funny. They’ve basically been partially frozen since late October, and I don’t know how many more winters like this last one I can endure, physically or emotionally. I’m sorry, I hate complaining about this. For some reason, they’re especially cold today.
This morning when I was riding the bus, the following songs came on my playlist:
“Island in the Sun,” “Suddenly Last Summer,” “Misery,” “Angeles,” “Hot in the City,” and “Holiday.” Well played, iPod. Well played.**
So, I’m heading to a wedding tomorrow.*** When I initially got the invite back in March, I dreamed of wearing a nice spring green ensemble that’s very flirty and flowy. I imagined that maybe I would need to bring a wrap–for the evening, you know, when the sun goes down and it’s cooler. I bought the gift in late March, and when it snowed in April, I thought it would be funny to ironically wrap it in Christmas**** paper. The irony of that is not lost on me now. I’m so sorry, Andrew and Sherene. But, I’m excited to dance my (frozen) tootsies off!
Every once in awhile***** I come across a joke I wish I had written. I heard recently that a DJ on KFAN has been calling these winter storms “Snow-namis” and I thought, Man, I should have thought of that.
Since the last storm was Achilles,****** we’re up to “B” (again). If the name is still up for grabs, can we go with the obvious but appropriate choice, Bastard? I think I’d feel better if the newscasters were telling me Winter Storm Bastard is about to hit the Midwest.*******
Well, there’s more snow in the forecast. Yep. Can someone draw me a hot bath and find a good movie for me on Netflix?
*Okay, I sniffled now and then. And if you remember my post way back about Christmas, we all got the flu, but my case was pretty mild. So really, I’ve made it all winter in 2013…which has been all of 2013.
**I was waiting for “Save The Best for Last” but that would have been too much…”Sometimes the snow comes down in June…” Man, I hope not.
***It’s at the Swedish Institute, so they should be able to handle snow and cold. Right? Right?
****It’s actually snowflakes, and I wanted both to be funny and to use some of the 400 square feet of winter wrapping paper I have. I could probably wrap my entire apartment in paper. Oh, now I’m really sad.
*****Or all the time. Darn you, Mike Birbiglia and Louis CK.
******Yes, we’ve had 27 winter storms. Ridiculous.
*******Followed, of course, by Winter Storm Crotchety, Winter Storm D-bag, and Winter Storm Eat Me.********
********Sorry, Mom. I’m in a cranky mood because my feet are so cold.