Peanuts and Penne
I don’t know if you’ve heard Colbie Caillat’s “Brighter Than the Sun” before but the lyrics have confounded me for a long time. She sings, “Read it/It’s signed and delivered/Let’s seal it/Boy, we go together like/peanuts and something/Marley and reggae/and everybody needs a chance to say…” What “goes with” peanuts and rhymes with reggae? When I listen hard it sounds like “peanuts and penne”* but that can’t be right. Peanuts and Ped Eggs?** Peanuts and mayonnaise?*** Seriously, what goes with peanuts?? Besides epi-pens…****
Last week I attempted to buy some coconut oil on recommendation from my friend. Her aunt uses it, apparently, and her skin looks amazing. And since I’d rather look like her aunt than Aaron Neville, I went coconut oil over cocoa butter. Unfortunately, Aaron Neville is the new buyer for Target’s health and beauty section because everything has cocoa butter in it.
So after my post about Aaron Neville last week, I know the question on everyone’s mind is: why didn’t Aaron Neville ever sing with Michael McDonald? Turns out, they did. Okay, not really. But this guy does a decent Aaron Neville impression.***** And a spot-on Kermit the Frog impression. His Michael McDonald, however, leaves much to be desired. Warning, it’s mildly inappropriate.
Speaking of mildly inappropriate…I’d better not.*
And lastly but way overdue, I need to acknowledge that Evan Kingston gave me a Reader Appreciation Award over Christmas. To quote Evan, “These aren’t really awards so much as presents, not meant to sit on your mantle, but to be passed along, building and strengthening the bonds of community.” Thank you very much for this recognition, Evan. And check out his blog, a blend of literary theory centered on humor and weekly joke-alongs.
Even though this is an award, there are conditions of accepting it.
1. Provide a link and thank the blogger who nominated you for this award.
2. Answer 10 questions.
3. Choose 10-12 blogs that you find a joy to read (I’ve done this a couple of times already, so I’ll just direct you to my Other Blogs Worth Checking Out page)
4. Provide links to these blogs and kindly let the recipients know that they have been chosen.
5. Include the award logo within your blog post.
Your favorite color? Blue. Any shade.
Your favorite animal? It’s a three-way tie for ducks, dogs, and frogs, not in that particular order. I was thinking about this the other day, though, and does anyone ever pick, say, conch? They are so ugly and weird-looking.
Your favorite non-alcoholic drink? Arnie Palmers, especially in the summer.
Facebook® or Twitter®? Neither, really, but I do use Facebook to keep in touch and post this blog. Twitter confuses and overwhelms me.
Your favorite pattern? I like a nice Houndstooth tweed. Or floral.
Getting or giving presents? I get really excited about giving gifts, especially when I feel like I’ve found the perfect one. But that’s really a gift for me, isn’t it? So I guess both.
Your favorite number? 25
Your favorite day of the week? I like Thursday nights.
Your favorite flower? Lilacs.
What is your passion? Humor. If I can make someone laugh, that is the ultimate good feeling.
*I looked it up. It’s peanuts and Paydays. Although that is true, I’m not sure the analogy is working for me. I mean, you can have peanuts without Paydays. It’s like when we learned about conditional statements in math class (you know, if a, then b) and their converse. We were determining if converse statements are true (like, all squares are rectangles, but not all rectangles are squares, therefore the converse of “If it is a square, then it is also a rectangle” is not true–not all rectangles are squares). My lovely math teacher who shall remain anonymous allowed us to give statements that might be true but their converse is not. One of the kids in my class raised his hand and said, “If you are using Trojan condoms, then you are having sex.” The converse of which, “If you are having sex, then you are using Trojan condoms,” is most definitely not always true. While this inspired some snickers from the class, we erupted in laughter when Mrs. Math-Teacher (she was married) realized that she had written this on the board in permanent marker. Not dry erase. The panicked look on her face was priceless. Just like math.
**As seen on TV! Seriously, though, I have one and it is amazing. Only, don’t watch the infomercial. Just trust me.
***I just threw up a little.
****Sorry those of you with peanut allergies. But it really seems like they’re everywhere nowadays. It’s like legumes are the new shellfish.
*****I mean, it’s not as good as mine. And seriously? How hard is it to do a good Michael McDonald impression? Just land hard on every other consonant. “I Keep forGetting, things will Never Be the Same aGain…” Okay, so it’s not quite every other. But you get the picture.