New Year, New Post, Same Old Sarah
Happy New Year, everyone! Wow, 2013. Really? Hard to believe I started this blog a year ago; it has been quite an experience. Thank you for sharing this project with me and for helping me hit over 6,300 all-time views! I couldn’t have done it without you. If you care to see my stats, check out this cool report WordPress put together for me.
I hope you enjoyed my “5 Blogs of Christmas/New Year’s.” I’m sorry if I confused anyone by the re-blogging. It was nice to re-visit some old favorites and fulfill your requests. And, I enjoyed a nice break with my family, including several small (and big) kids who taught me a lot of random stuff. Here are the things I learned* at Christmas this year:
- a lollipop is not the same thing as a sucker, so do not confuse the two
- Betty Crocker now makes Kleenex
- the game “Fire Department” never gets old (unless you’re significantly older than six)
- you cannot swashbuckle without a sword
- you can run out of hugs (but you can also make more)
- you have to tell your own fortune at Madame Cora’s
- nothing is funnier than stinky feet
- uncles make great “safety” spots in the game “chase me” aka “zombies”**
- you’re never too old to: want to sleep near the Christmas tree or need to be taken care of when you’re sick.
Oh, and family makes everything better. But I already knew that one.
Well, nothing brings the family together like the holidays. And nothing brings the family even closer together than an illness at the holidays.*** Unfortunately, over a dozen people got sick after our family Christmas two weekends ago. Luckily, my mom, the caretaker, avoided the epidemic. I only had a “touch” of the flu, but that was enough. Needless to say, it was a very subdued Christmas.
Speaking of, I want to open a Subdued Ranch, but I’m afraid nothing would get done. Instead of roping steers, they’d be rockin’ stares; instead of bailing hay, they’d be saying “Heeyyyyyyy.” Instead of cattle drives, they’d be catatonic. It’d be like filming the Hey, Dude audience.****
While I was writing a piece about fake trees, Radiohead’s “Fake Plastic Trees” came on the radio. Coincidence? Or is Radiohead the radio in my head?
So when is it no longer acceptable to have a Christmas tree up? When it becomes a MLK Jr. Tree or is Presidents’ Day Tree still a thing?
In addition to the above bullet points, I learned that I do a pretty good Aaron Neville impression. Not Horatio-Sanz-laugh-so-hard-you-drop-your-cocoa-butter good, but definitely snort-the-Great-Enhancer-through-your-nose good. If I were a panhandler, I’d sing “I don’t need much/but I need some muh-nee-eeee./That may be/all I need/from you-ou-ou” in my Aaron Neville voice. Who could resist throwing in some alms?***** My new brother-in-law and I were turning everything into alternately Aaron Neville-style singing or the song from the animated classic, The Snowman. ****** We definitely entertained ourselves.
Speaking of entertaining ourselves, my sister and brother-in-law got the family a new favorite game this Christmas: Quiddler. You have to spell words using letters on playing cards.******* I was able to spell “qualm”******** and “jinx” in one turn, but since I got the other “q” as well and couldn’t use it, I lost. In a different game, when managed to spell “aioli” I considered it a win.
Speaking of aioli, I came up with a low-fat substitute: aioleo.
On that note, I bid you adieu. Here’s to a great year! As always, please feel free to contact me. I love love love hearing from you in comments, in person, and in private messages. And I’m very willing to write about things that interest you, so if you have an idea, please let me know! email@example.com
*Thank you, Cora (age 6), Nathan (age 3 1/2), Braden (age 3), Jane (age 6), Bridget (age 4), Matthew (age 2), and Dad (age intentionally left out, but eternally youthful) for these lessons.
**Do you think they’ve been reading my blog??
***Or maybe caused by the family being together? If so, it was totally worth it.
****Okay, when I watched Hey, Dude I was definitely not catatonic. I was totally crushing on Ted. Swoon.
*****C’mon, you know you’d throw a quarter in my cup. Four bits and I’d sing “Cover Comedian” for you. A whole dollar and you’d get a mix of Weird Al and myself. Plus all the impressions: The Chipmunks, Bob Dylan, Cher, etc. It’d be
******Just try singing the words “I’m creeping down the stairs/I’m hiding here behind the couch/I’m jumping out at you/you scream and run away” and see if it doesn’t make you laugh. It helps if you actually do what you’re singing about doing.
*******Yes, I know I’m a nerd. Take me or leave me. But, please don’t leave me.
********Apparently, you can have just one qualm. Alms, on the other hand, only come in plural.