The Other Day
I’m not saying I’m psychic, but the other day I posted about snow and then it snowed. A LOT.*
I mis-typed this word the other day: resecuted. I imagine means an “out of the frying pan, into the fire” situation.
I want the Wayans brothers to make a movie spoofing fairy tales (Disney movies, Ever After, The Princess Bride, etc.). They’ll call it (ready?)…Fairy Movie. But I don’t know how they’ll spoof The Princess Bride. That movie is just one long gag reel.
Best random remake/update of a movie: Doctor Zhivago is now Omar Sheriff: Lara Enforcement.
The other day, I mis-heard the song lyrics “panic in Detroit” as “pancaking the droid.” I kind of like my version better. I also mis-heard someone on the radio ask listeners to consider including the station in their “estate plan” as “escape plan.” Can you imagine? What’s an escape plan?
If I worked in a clothing store, I would call all the models “Anakin the Mannequin.”
Watching the Russell Crowe version of Robin Hood the other day, I noticed that he didn’t pick up several coins strewn along the scene of an ambush where several people lay dead or dying. When I mentioned this aloud, saying they had to be worth quite a bit**, the guy I was watching it with said RH was going to go after the real spoils (meaning armor and chain mail). I question the intelligence of taking the armor off a dead guy. How effective could it be if the guy DIED? Isn’t that like taking someone’s bulletproof vest after he’s been shot?
So I had kind of a “Gift of the Magi” situation the other day. Because of the snow, I discovered that my car was leaking.*** I got up early to take it in, and as a result, caught an early bus to work, which was actually the on-time bus because of the snow. So really, not a “Gift of the Magi” situation at all. Oh Henry!
I want to start a coffee shop and call it (drumroll): Coffee Anon
Remember how I posted about Gmail ads mis-targeting me? Well, someone has me on the wrong snail-mailing list. The other day I got this:
The other side also had the bathroom symbol for men and the same information.**** I’d think it was mis-filed in my box or just a blanket mailing if it was addressed to “Current Resident” or “Occupant,” and I’d even understand if my name was ambiguous like Kelly or Kim or even Erin.***** But, it was addressed to Sarah Turner. Ms. Sarah Turner.******
Well, wish me luck. I’m reading this weekend at an event in Minneapolis. Unfortunately, there’s more bad weather in the forecast. But if you live in the area, you should come.
*I know, it was probably already in the forecast. And, considering I live in MN and it’s December, even if it wasn’t in the forecast, there’s always a good chance it will snow. But I did have a dream about a cockroach once and the next day the exterminator came, unbeknownst to me beforehand. So, you know.
**It may seem weird that he would pick up coins at the scene of a massacre, but he did rob the rich to feed the poor. In case you’re wondering, the Disney version is my favorite RH movie.
***You’ll be glad to know it actually wasn’t leaking. Whew!
****If anyone needs the phone number for this, you can private message me. Or, you know. talk to your doctor.
*****I knew a guy named Erin. Spelled that way exactly. He almost got placed on the female floor in our residence hall because they thought he didn’t know that he was male.
******I guess I should be happy they don’t make gender assumptions?