Beware the Ides of July
My mom is a little superstitious about July 15. A bad storm hit our hometown on July 15, 1980, and ever since the storm, she has noticed a pattern of bad things (some large, some minor) that happen on or around that date. My brother broke his leg on July 15 when he was two. I broke my arm (the first time) on July 14, and our friends had their bikes stolen when we were camping on July 15. And their tent leaked. So my mom’s anxiety isn’t unwarranted. This year July 13 fell on a Friday. As in Friday the 13th. The night before (July 12), a black cat crossed my path several times, and last night my boyfriend spilled salt on the table. It’s like we’re playing with fate. Next we’ll be walking under ladders, breaking mirrors, and putting our shirts on backwards. I was certain something bad would happen, but (knock on wood) nothing so far. In fact, I found 23 cents on the ground yesterday: 23 pennies in a clump of grass at the bus stop. That has to ensure that I’ll be fine, right?
On Thursday, I had the opportunity to use “utilikilt” in a social situation. I’m pretty sure some friends were made from that experience.
If you type in “do Irish people” on Google, the first suggested entry completion is “wear kilts.” The answer is, they do.
If you type in “Gumby” on Google, the third suggested entry completion, after “pizza” and “haircut” is “condoms.” I don’t even want to know what those are. Gumby’s horse is fourth. Poor Pokey.
“Bro-ing up” is the act of becoming bros through time. “Browing up” is the act of becoming a Neanderthal through time. So essentially they’re the same.
Last night I told someone that my old coworker used to recycle Mitch Hedberg jokes. He responded with, “So he was like a cover comedian.” A) I wish I had thought of that term and B) I want Weird Al to do a spoof of Culture Club’s “Karma Chameleon,” the refrain of which is “Cover cover cover cover cover Comedian/You’re jokes are old/They’ve all been toh oh oh old…” For some reason my boyfriend, the comedian, did not find this as funny as I did.
Below (slideshow) are some pictures of my bruises from trapeze class. Yay! Please ignore the mild messiness of my room. And next week, look for the first in a series (two or three) of posts related to my sister’s wedding. It’s going to be blogulous. Blogtastic? Totally blogular.
* I guess technically the angles of their heads are mirrored. But still. (I love Brian Williams, so this isn’t meant as a cut. Not many people can rock a trapezoidal head shape and still look attractive, but he does. He does it well.)