The Almost Thesispian…Thesisist?
I’m baaaaaack! Hello all, I’ve missed you. I’m sorry to have taken a small hiatus but I assure you it was for a worthy cause. I turned in my thesis today: a 300 page manuscript that I hope to publish as a book someday. This was just the first draft, though, so I still have a long road ahead of me.
Don’t fret my pets, I managed to write some of my non-thesis thoughts as I went, and I’ve gleaned the best* ones for you in a larger dose of Sarah.
Today, as I printed the massive piece of writing we call “thesis,” I wished that someone had told me before I hit “Print” that the machine can also three-hole punch. Blerg!
I feel like we should have a title for persons with masters degrees. You know, like how people with Ph.Ds are called doctors. I’m kicking around Thesispian. Or Thesisist. On a related note, I’m thinking of opening a pub. I want to call it The Lisping Thespian. We’d specialize in thots. (Say it aloud, you’ll get it.) For real, though, the Happy Hour special would be the Club Sandwich: a shot of Wild Turkey and a can of Hamm’s with a side of toast.
It’s amazing the difference rearranging letters makes: Music–sounds good. Mucis–sounds bad. (I know that’s misspelled, just go with it.)
March: in like a lion, out like a lamb; April: in like a lemming, out like a lemur.
Chastity belt = wait belt.
Something I misheard the other day: pin bomb. What would a pin bomb be? A hand grenade. So a pin bomb machine would therefore be a grenade launcher.
Clear something up for me: You know the phrase, “Sometimes you’re the windshield, sometimes you’re the bug”? So, covered in bug goo is winning, then?
After mistyping law enforcement as “lawn enforcement” about a thousand times, I have given that term some serious thought and I think there’s an animated movie there. Imagine the taglines: Please Stay off the Grass. Yard Day’s Work. Hedge Hogs.
Speaking of movies, I saw something about The Beaver recently and I think it would have done better at the box office if Bill Murray had been cast in the lead role instead of Mel Gibson. He had success with a gopher and a groundhog, a beaver seems like the next logical rodent.
Speaking of rodents, did you know porcupines climb trees? I did not, until we saw a porcupine on Easter. Initially I thought it was a bear cub (it was HUGE) but my cousin and his wife are more familiar with woodland creatures and correctly identified it. When I was retelling the story, expressing my surprise over porcupines climbing trees, the person to whom I told the story responded, “Oh yeah, they hang upside down when they sleep.”
“I think you’re thinking of possums,” I said.
“Aren’t they the same thing?”
Just to drop some knowledge on y’all: although both are mostly nocturnal (except for the porcupine we saw) porcupines are rodents and possums are marsupials. And, you know, porcupines have quills.
I hope to have another post this week (but no promises).
*Best is a relative term. After all, I had just turned in my thesis.