The Almost Thesispian…Thesisist?

I’m baaaaaack! Hello all, I’ve missed you.  I’m sorry to have taken a small hiatus but I assure you it was for a worthy cause.  I turned in my thesis today: a 300 page manuscript that I hope to publish as a book someday.  This was just the first draft, though, so I still have a long road ahead of me.

Don’t fret my pets, I managed to write some of my non-thesis thoughts as I went, and I’ve gleaned the best* ones for you in a larger dose of Sarah.

Today, as I printed the massive piece of writing we call “thesis,” I wished that someone had told me before I hit “Print” that the machine can also three-hole punch. Blerg!

I feel like we should have a title for persons with masters degrees. You know, like how people with Ph.Ds are called doctors.  I’m kicking around Thesispian. Or Thesisist. On a related note, I’m thinking of opening a pub.  I want to call it The Lisping Thespian. We’d specialize in thots.  (Say it aloud, you’ll get it.) For real, though, the Happy Hour special would be the Club Sandwich: a shot of Wild Turkey and a can of Hamm’s with a side of toast.

It’s amazing the difference rearranging letters makes: Music–sounds good. Mucis–sounds bad.  (I know that’s misspelled, just go with it.)

March: in like a lion, out like a lamb; April: in like a lemming, out like a lemur.

Chastity belt = wait belt.

Something I misheard the other day: pin bomb.  What would a pin bomb be? A hand grenade. So a pin bomb machine would therefore be a grenade launcher.

Clear something up for me: You know the phrase, “Sometimes you’re the windshield, sometimes you’re the bug”? So, covered in bug goo is winning, then?

After mistyping law enforcement as “lawn enforcement” about a thousand times, I have given that term some serious thought and I think there’s an animated movie there. Imagine the taglines: Please Stay off the Grass.  Yard Day’s Work.  Hedge Hogs.

Speaking of movies, I saw something about The Beaver recently and I think it would have done better at the box office if Bill Murray had been cast in the lead role instead of Mel Gibson.  He had success with a gopher and a groundhog, a beaver seems like the next logical rodent.

Speaking of rodents, did you know porcupines climb trees? I did not, until we saw a porcupine on Easter. Initially I thought it was a bear cub (it was HUGE) but my cousin and his wife are more familiar with woodland creatures and correctly identified it.  When I was retelling the story, expressing my surprise over porcupines climbing trees, the person to whom I told the story responded, “Oh yeah, they hang upside down when they sleep.”
“I think you’re thinking of possums,” I said.

“Aren’t they the same thing?”

Just to drop some knowledge on y’all: although both are mostly nocturnal (except for the porcupine we saw) porcupines are rodents and possums are marsupials. And, you know, porcupines have quills.

I hope to have another post this week (but no promises).

*Best is a relative term. After all, I had just turned in my thesis.


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About Sarah in Small Doses

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4 responses to “The Almost Thesispian…Thesisist?”

  1. themooninautumn says :

    Welcome back! I needed a laugh today, and your post provided several. : )

  2. prairiewisdom says :

    Ha! Love playing with words…

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