Not With a Bang But a Slursper
In Chicago last week they had signs on the sidewalk that said “Caution: Falling Ice,” over which someone had written things such as “Caution: Falling MIce.” The sweetest? “Caution: Falling in love is NIce.” The funniest? “Caution: Falling Bo BIce.” The obvious one missing? “Caution: Balling Jerry RIce.” Or “Caution: it is ApPalling how few fast food places still serve Orange SlIce.”
Vacationing with people you don’t know very well turns into vacationing with people you know “real well” very quickly. I shared a double bed with a friend of mine, during which time I only wished that if they couldn’t offer us queen-sized beds, at least the hotel could have sprung for queen-sized sheets, as the main issue we discovered the first night was the shortage of covering.
When I sneaked in late one night after my three roommates had retired to bed, I managed to avoid waking them. Or so I thought. Seconds after I climbed into bed, my bedmate reached over and started pawing at my head. Thinking she had mistaken me for her husband, I was about to say something in a high-pitched, non-manly voice to alert her of this error, when she realized it all on her own. “I’m sorry,” she slurspered, “I’ll apologize more for this tomorrow.” (Which she did).
New word: slursper. That combination of slur and whisper that sleepy people do at odd hours of the morning. Slurspering. Or what drunk people attempt but it comes out more like slouting.
There’s nothing like the rush of singing karaoke decently enough to not get booed off the stage. There is also nothing like singing karaoke on the same night as a group of people auditioning for The Voice.
What’s in a name? Everything. Just think of what the world would be like if they had called them “webjournals” instead of “weblogs”–bjourns sounds so high class and European compared to blog, which seems onomatopoeic for the sound a cat makes when coughing up a hairball, or alternately, like something you find in a shower drain. Enjoy my Bjourn entry! I’m off in search of Orange Slice…